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February 11th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in visualization

With our moving day coming so fast, I can’t help but look at every building and house we pass by now. Even metal buildings, of all things. It really makes you visualize all the different things you don’t see everyday, when you begin to see where you’re going. If that makes any sense at all. Sometimes I wonder what I’m missing in life simply because I’m not watching, or because I’m too involved in the things I am expecting to see, or looking for. Sometimes I wonder if I’m missing the things that I should be seeing but not expecting. Passing life by. I need to have my eyes more open. And not be so caught up with my path. I need to expand my path to include even the things that I am not expecting or hoping for. Hopefully to make myself more well-rounded, more open.

Only 60 Seconds

January 17th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being

It is Sunday, and my back hurts. My mind is numb from the stressful situation we’ve been under, and my body is tired from trying to hold up my mind. I hope this is good stress, if there is even such a thing that exists. I’m overwhelmed by what life has to offer at this stage in our lives, and I don’t know how exactly to deal with it. Some days I feel like I’m going to go crazy, while other days I feel more stable than I’ve ever felt before. I think, though, that this is what people have been talking about — when you are on the brink of turning 30, suddenly it feels like adolescence again. I’m 29 now, and it is kind of scary that this age has snuck up so quickly upon me. I look at my life and I think, “Wow, I can’t believe I have so much…” Yet at the same time, I look at my life and I also feel like there is still so much more to do, and 30 is coming just way too fast.

What happened to my 20s? Where the heck was I and what was I doing? I was busy falling in love with a man I would marry. I was busy preparing myself to be a mother. I was busy creating a positive dent in this world we inhabit. And yet, all that sometimes feels like I still have so much more to do, so much more to give. Life is more than just choosing the right hair supplements, or the perfect interview clothes. Sometimes we get lost in all that silly mumble jumble, and we forget that each minute we live, it is another minute gone by, and we are simply just a minute closer to our death. We must choose to live each minute wisely, because they all go by so fast.

After all, it’s only 60 seconds, when you think about it.

Liberation and Responsibility

January 12th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in reflection

There’s a part of growing up that is so hard to do. This part has everything to do with the responsibility that comes with growing up. Such things include getting a job, paying bills, buying a car, purchasing your first home, having life insurance, making a will, etc. The list goes on and on. When you’re a kid, you dream about growing up and having no one to answer to. Being free. Being your own boss. Except, you don’t realize, it hasn’t struck you yet maybe, that while you’re no longer your parents’ “employee,” you’re actually everyone else’s. Suddenly, you have more people to answer to. The bank. The job employer. The insurance agents. The real estate agents. The mortgage broker. More people to answer to.

Sometimes, growing up kinda sucks. Though, all those other things that come with it, the things you hoped for as a child, are sometimes what makes it worthwhile. You can go to bed any time you want (and suffer the consequences the next morning). You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want (and suffer the consequences of that as well). You can do whatever you want. Of course, you also have no one else to bail you out except yourself. Scary, but also somewhat liberating.

Gratitude for Homeostasis

December 12th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in gratitude

One of the things I am grateful for is my health. While it does come and go and sometimes things get in the way in terms of my overall, detailed health, I am glad to be alive and well. Between this time last year and now, I’ve pretty much gone back to my old weight (which I’ve come to accept.. I could probably use to be a little heavier, but oh well) without even having to use any type of slimming pill to do it. I appreciate my body being able to recognize its own homeostasis level and helping me get back to it when the time comes. I feel healthy, alive, and wonderful. I’m glad to be here.

2009 Is Almost Gone

December 12th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in reflection

I haven’t had a lot of time to reflect on the things that have happened this year. Lily is in her absolute busiest (well, as far as we know, anyway!), and we’re having a darn time catching up with her! Since June, we’ve managed to do several things: moved from having an infant to a toddler, going on vacation to Disneyland (not one of those orlando vacations, but to California!), have a toddler’s birthday party (several times over, actually!), and even made a few friends along the way. Now, we’re getting ready for the big Christmas season this year, and even getting ready to buy a home in the midst! It’s all so wonderful, so quick, and I’m so so so excited for us! 2010 will totally rock our socks!

Decorating Bug

December 12th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in visualization

We’ve been house hunting for only about a week, and I think we’ve already narrowed it down to a few that we really, really love. We’re emotive type of people, and we know what we like when we see it. So we’re going back for a couple of “second looks” to see if we still feel the same way before thinking about making an offer. One of the things we really want to do is decorate, including looking at new furniture and possibly even lighting fixtures to go with the new furniture. It’s a wonderful experience, being able to live in your own home. We’re so excited! We definitely need more furniture to make it feel like home. Moving into a bigger place is going to come in so handy!

New Systems

December 10th, 2009 | No Comments | Posted in received

I’ve been making little changes here and there to Lily’s room. One of my pride and joy when it comes to Lily is that her room is almost always in immaculate condition. It’s always clean, it’s always dusted, everything is in its place, there is a place for everything. One of the things I’ve recently updated in her room is her new mp3 player. Her old one was going wonky on us for a while. She listens to an hour or so’s worth of soft, lullaby music when we put her to bed, so we’ve been depending on a rinky dink mp3 player to do that for us. A couple of speakers hooked up, and voila, it was all set to go. So when we were shopping for <a href=”http://www.buy.com/cat/mp3-players/440.html”>MP3 players</a>, we wanted to get one that was dependable, upgraded, and simple. We didn’t want a fancy schmancy one. We just wanted one that works, that’s all. Welp, we decided to stick with the Samsa. And to boot, we updated her speakers as well!