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Time For Myself

April 23rd, 2010 Posted in being, visualization

I haven’t shown gratitude or insight on this blog in a while, I feel. Lately, I feel like I’ve been floating because things seem to come naturally to me in life. I don’t have to think too much of what I have to do everyday. It’s routine. Mostly it concerns house stuff, as we’re still more or less settling into our new home. I’m trying to find some time for “me,” but it has been difficult because every waking extra time I have has been spent with Lily because I miss her when I’m not with her. So I try to make it up when she and I are awake together. But more and more, I am noticing that I need some essential “me” time as well. I’m not sure what this would consist of, but I think it should have something to do with exercise and most likely yoga. I’ve neglected my yoga routine ever since we’ve moved here. The busy-ness of life gets in the way, and before you know it, months have passed and your body hasn’t felt healthy in a while. I feel like sometimes, I stretch myself so much into my community and my family, there is not enough left of me for myself. And my mind and body ache to be given the same amount of attention that I give everyone else.

I’ve been trying to find some time to read more. Often, when I am not busy (like after Lily’s bedtime), I find myself aimlessly surfing the internet, mind-numbing my brain out for a bit because I’m so darn tired. Or, I find myself watching tv until I pass out on the couch from the pure exhaustion of my day catching up to me. Reading seems to be difficult, though still greatly enjoyable. I sneak it in more often than not on my lunch breaks during the week — going out by myself to eat in a restaurant just so I can have that half hour to hour of reading. Just on my own. I don’t miss anyone else’s company but myself. So, I try to find less time to work work work and think about silly things (like for example, the way our society is so targeted on best weight loss pills), and to find more time for myself.

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