| Subcribe via RSS

The Feeling

September 24th, 2008 Posted in gratitude, reflection

While still adjusting to being a new mom, I realized how really seriously I take the job. My days are spent, literally, dedicated to Lily Bean, completely. Everything I do seems to revolve around her. Even making myself food revolves around her - I eat healthy so that I can make good breast milk for her, so that she gets everything she needs. I continue not to drink so that the alcohol content doesn’t slip into my breast milk, which may affect her negatively. Even when I eat my favorite fruits and veggies, it is still kept in mind that I eat for her now. I take a shower so that when I cuddle with her, she can smell me fresh and be calmed by my pleasant, clean smell. I sleep so that I can wake up and have enough energy to fully dedicate my time and love to her. I clean her poopy diapers willingly and lovingly, and hand wash the poop stains off of her g-pants and clothes whenever she leaks. I do this with a smile on my face knowing that it is done for her. Nothing is too big of a sacrifice. I surf the internet for things that she would like or things that would be good for her. I haven’t shopped for myself in ages. While I always hated doing laundry, now I look forward to doing hers, because folding them up and having them clean and neatly put away in her drawers make me feel good… to provide fresh, clean things for her to wear. Every time I see something, someone, anything, anyone, it is with the thought, “Would this be good for Lily Bean?”

The other day, I overheard Dave talking to his daughter — our daughter — about “Mommy.” He told her, “You have a very loving mother. She dedicates every waking moment to you. When she is not cuddling with you or talking with you, she is cleaning up after you, or making food for you. She loves you very much.” It is sweet that he notices, and I am proud and it brings a tear to my eye that I am allowed this miracle in life — to provide for someone else, to love someone else this much, to be a mother. Each day I see her, I can’t help but think, “Wow, I am so lucky to be your mom. Thank you for being my daughter.”

(Who needs any type of promotional products when I’ve got my Lily Bean?)

Leave a Reply