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Coming Home to Home

April 26th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

There is something so great about having your own home. It’s wonderful because you take such pride in your “things” and the walls you live within. And it doesn’t even matter what types of furniture you have, or how old the house is, or what colors the walls are, or whether or not you have one of those walk in bathtubs in your bathroom. What matters is that these are the things that you surround yourself with that make you feel like you’re “home.” The safe haven you create for yourself, and for your family. I truly treasure that, and I think it makes everything so much more wonderful.

We’ve also been really minimizing our home too. Just the things that we feel are special — lots and lots of books, and lots and lots of photos. Everything else seems to just be “extra.” We have lots of books, lots of photos, and lots of plants. I love coming home to this… home.

And We Go

April 24th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in reflection, visualization

Today, I was thrown off for a loop. I guess I should have seen it coming, since I sort of started it, but still, I didn’t realize I was dealing with such craziness. Didn’t really expect it. But, I suppose in the end, it is worth mentioning that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and it doesn’t make me give up on people. I guess, the thing to say is… good riddance. It’s left me a little confused and stunned, as I haven’t met many people who can so blatantly ignore everything you say because they’re so defensive, and then they become offensive as a result. But, in the end, I’ve said my piece, and my peace, and I’m okay with that.

These things in life that throw us for a loop.. they come and they go, and we have to move on. In the end, what should be worrying me more is not the people who choose to push me aside, but the custom usb drives I want to buy. Yeah, exactly. That’s how little this stuff should mean to me.

Time For Myself

April 23rd, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being, visualization

I haven’t shown gratitude or insight on this blog in a while, I feel. Lately, I feel like I’ve been floating because things seem to come naturally to me in life. I don’t have to think too much of what I have to do everyday. It’s routine. Mostly it concerns house stuff, as we’re still more or less settling into our new home. I’m trying to find some time for “me,” but it has been difficult because every waking extra time I have has been spent with Lily because I miss her when I’m not with her. So I try to make it up when she and I are awake together. But more and more, I am noticing that I need some essential “me” time as well. I’m not sure what this would consist of, but I think it should have something to do with exercise and most likely yoga. I’ve neglected my yoga routine ever since we’ve moved here. The busy-ness of life gets in the way, and before you know it, months have passed and your body hasn’t felt healthy in a while. I feel like sometimes, I stretch myself so much into my community and my family, there is not enough left of me for myself. And my mind and body ache to be given the same amount of attention that I give everyone else.

I’ve been trying to find some time to read more. Often, when I am not busy (like after Lily’s bedtime), I find myself aimlessly surfing the internet, mind-numbing my brain out for a bit because I’m so darn tired. Or, I find myself watching tv until I pass out on the couch from the pure exhaustion of my day catching up to me. Reading seems to be difficult, though still greatly enjoyable. I sneak it in more often than not on my lunch breaks during the week — going out by myself to eat in a restaurant just so I can have that half hour to hour of reading. Just on my own. I don’t miss anyone else’s company but myself. So, I try to find less time to work work work and think about silly things (like for example, the way our society is so targeted on best weight loss pills), and to find more time for myself.

Silence

April 8th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in gratitude

Everything is so lighted up, fanned up, turned on, and opened up that we sometimes forget the most peaceful sound is the sound of silence — silence from electronics. I often forget to turn off my laptop at night, just out of habit and out of tiredness when I’m in a hurry to just get to bed. But whenever I do manage to turn things off, I notice very distinctly the wonderful sounds of silence. The silence of the laptop turned off (it’s amazing how loud these computer fans are), the silence of the buzzing of the lights turned off, the silence of everything just TURNED OFF. It’s nice. I should do it more often.

Making Life

April 7th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in gratitude, reflection

Some of my friends are getting pregnant with their second child. I can’t help but remember, when I hear about them talk about their pregnancies, what it was like to be pregnant. I sometimes get an itching for it. True, the little annoyances that come with being pregnant I can do without, such as taking prenatal vitamins everyday, and not forgetting them. But oh the joy of carrying a living, moving being inside my body — it felt like a little miracle in and of itself. I felt almost invincible, yet at the same time so vulnerable and fragile (especially as I got bigger and bigger and lost sight of my toes!). I miss it some days. I will look forward to when we decide to have another child. I will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed carrying Little Miss Lily. Making life is a wonderful feeling, if you’re up for it.