| Subcribe via RSS

Only 60 Seconds

January 17th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being

It is Sunday, and my back hurts. My mind is numb from the stressful situation we’ve been under, and my body is tired from trying to hold up my mind. I hope this is good stress, if there is even such a thing that exists. I’m overwhelmed by what life has to offer at this stage in our lives, and I don’t know how exactly to deal with it. Some days I feel like I’m going to go crazy, while other days I feel more stable than I’ve ever felt before. I think, though, that this is what people have been talking about — when you are on the brink of turning 30, suddenly it feels like adolescence again. I’m 29 now, and it is kind of scary that this age has snuck up so quickly upon me. I look at my life and I think, “Wow, I can’t believe I have so much…” Yet at the same time, I look at my life and I also feel like there is still so much more to do, and 30 is coming just way too fast.

What happened to my 20s? Where the heck was I and what was I doing? I was busy falling in love with a man I would marry. I was busy preparing myself to be a mother. I was busy creating a positive dent in this world we inhabit. And yet, all that sometimes feels like I still have so much more to do, so much more to give. Life is more than just choosing the right hair supplements, or the perfect interview clothes. Sometimes we get lost in all that silly mumble jumble, and we forget that each minute we live, it is another minute gone by, and we are simply just a minute closer to our death. We must choose to live each minute wisely, because they all go by so fast.

After all, it’s only 60 seconds, when you think about it.

Liberation and Responsibility

January 12th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in reflection

There’s a part of growing up that is so hard to do. This part has everything to do with the responsibility that comes with growing up. Such things include getting a job, paying bills, buying a car, purchasing your first home, having life insurance, making a will, etc. The list goes on and on. When you’re a kid, you dream about growing up and having no one to answer to. Being free. Being your own boss. Except, you don’t realize, it hasn’t struck you yet maybe, that while you’re no longer your parents’ “employee,” you’re actually everyone else’s. Suddenly, you have more people to answer to. The bank. The job employer. The insurance agents. The real estate agents. The mortgage broker. More people to answer to.

Sometimes, growing up kinda sucks. Though, all those other things that come with it, the things you hoped for as a child, are sometimes what makes it worthwhile. You can go to bed any time you want (and suffer the consequences the next morning). You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want (and suffer the consequences of that as well). You can do whatever you want. Of course, you also have no one else to bail you out except yourself. Scary, but also somewhat liberating.