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Less Worried Parents

December 30th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in headlines

Well, we’re at my parents’ house, and things are going well so far. Every time I come back, I can’t help but notice how more “with the times” my parents become. Every visit, there is something new. This visit, I noticed a new car (yeah, seriously!), and even a new tv (which they conveniently got onto their old stand by using a tv lift). Last time it was a new stereo system. Our old one was about 15 years old. I’m glad to see that my parents are finally able to enjoy spoiling themselves with gidgets and gadgets. It makes them a little more relaxed, now that they know they don’t have to save *that* much money anymore, since I’m out of college and making my own money, and my sister’s in college and halfway through. It’s good to see the ‘rents enjoyin’ their money and worryin’ less. :)

Good Christmas

December 28th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in gratitude

I didn’t really talk about what we got for Christmas this year. Somehow, I neglected to do that, and I’m not exactly sure why. We got a really good haul this year, and it only shows how loved we are, and how loved Baby Bean already is.

From Dan & Kami (BIL and SIL):
- a blue baby’s tub
- a pack of newborn’s diapers
- Baby Bean’s first toy (has all these weird gidgets and gadgets attached)
- a pack of newborn’s onesies
- a pack of baby face cloths
- baby’s bath soaps and shampoo
- cute cotton rattle
- yellow ducky baby bath towel (with a HOOD! SO CUTE!)

From Sylv & Larry (MIL & DIL):
- a handmade, homemade, hand-drawn BEAUTIFUL jungle-theme toy chest with cushion (they built and painted it themselves!)
- a pack of cloth diapers neatly pre-folded
- a set of baby monitors
- baby wipes
- a stuffed teddy dog
- a stuffed teddy bear
- a bell collar for Tink
- newborn’s diapers
- some onesies
- another baby bath towel
- hand-sewn curtains for the baby’s room
- water-proof pants (to go with the cloth diapers, I think?)

From Dave:
- a Targus numeric keypad for the laptop
- two beautiful black picture frames
- two packs of printing paper
- two packs of photo printing paper
- a photo album for Baby Bean
- Ferrero Rocher chocolates!
- an oversized Tinkerbell maternity shirt

From Gran:
- some cash :D
From Tink:
- her pink foam ball she lent me while I was sleeping

Good stuff, all good stuff! It’s really neat that we’ve already got a good haul going on for Baby Bean. In a couple of months, the family is getting together to help us paint and decorate the baby’s room. It will be very awesome. We’re going with tannish wall paint, and Dave and I are drawing jungle animals on the walls, to match the jungle theme bedroom set we already started collecting.

Lots and lots of wonderful family vibes for Baby Bean. I want to just be surrounded by pure, loving, selfless energy while I’m pregnant. It’s good to be around good people. :) It was a good holiday this year.

For the End of 2007

December 28th, 2007 | 1 Comment | Posted in visualization

Okay, so these are my visualizations for our upcoming trip to North Carolina, and gosh darn it, we deserve to have them come true.

1. Lots and lots of good, homemade Vietnamese food.
2. Lots and lots of laughter.
3. Good hang-out time with the sisser and brudder.
4. No yelling.
5. Maybe a good movie or two.
6. Did I mention lots of good food?
7. My mom being nice, with no weird comments.
8. No nausea (ha, that’s a big one).
9. More energy to spend with the family and less energy fighting off criticism.
10. Safe flights, all the way to and fro.

Not too much to ask, right?

Embodiment of Love

December 27th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in gratitude

The many blessings that this year has brought us can only be topped by our end-of-the-year lovely surprise: Baby Bean’s existence. As this beautiful little alien grows inside me (and I use the term very affectionately.. hehe), I am reminded that everything I have done, everything I’ve lived for, built my life around, studied for, failed at, succeeded at — all of that I have done from the time I was born to today has all been in preparation for Baby Bean. I can’t imagine loving someone so deeply, so unconditionally. I am just overwhelmed with this sense of immense, pure, beautiful love inside me, that I feel like my heart is going to burst. And during all of this, all I can think of was, “Wow, I thought I knew all the facets of this world’s love.”

There are so many different types of unconditional love. So many different categories. I am so amazed at how beautiful my life is. I’m so very happy about where I am, who I’ve become. I’m my most happiest, my calmest, my most forgiving. Everything I’ve done has been in preparation for Baby Bean. All of a sudden, there is this vast new meaning to life. I told Will, my best friend from California, that I want to change the world for the better to guarantee Baby Bean’s happiness. I want to completely build peace on earth, to completely capitalize on love and acceptance and openness and happiness, just so Baby Bean can be in a world that truly deserves him/her.

This very existence growing inside me, this teeny tiny beating heart. Oh my gosh. I am so overjoyed. I don’t know how else to describe it. I have never been more excited — and more worried and terrified — about anything in my life. Heh. I just want to bubble the world up in flowers and warm raindrops so that Baby Bean will never have to suffer. I want Baby Bean to know how much Mommy loves Bean, how much Mommy thinks of Bean, and how Bean can never do anything, anything on this earth, that would make Mommy not love him/her. I want Bean to feel this overwhelming power of my love through my body, because that is where Bean’s shelter is right now. I know all this sounds pretty fruity, and I can hardly believe it as I type it, but all of my energy right now is concentrated on transforming my love into my blood streams so that it can be transitioned into Bean’s body while s/he’s growing. Growing everyday, developing organs.

I can almost taste this love inside me. I feel like my body is this sacred bottle of overpowering wealth and love. I can feel it. It feels physical. It feels like my skin is tingling with joy. It feels like my heart beats just a step happier, if there is such a thing.

My greatest gratitude this year is also our greatest accomplishment. Thank you, 2007, for creating Baby Bean for us. We are thrilled, and we already love this child as all children deserves to be loved. This child is the physical embodiment of love. I am so full of love that there is no room for hate, no room for sorrow, no room for stress, no room for regrets, no room for remorse, no room for unforgiveness. I am happy with everything. Baby Bean isn’t even 12 weeks old, and already my life has transformed for the better. Already, my life has changed so dramatically, so profoundly. Already, I live and breathe for Baby Bean. I live and breathe to give this love.

Our Little Love Child

December 27th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in being

I’ve had these massive cravings for various things. I guess that part of the pregnancy is coming out? I’ve had cravings for mangoes, and cheerios, and that lovely barbecue beef terriyaki from the Terriyaki House in B’ham. Man. I don’t get what the heck it is. Tomorrow I’m actually driving back into town just so I can have a dish of that. Today, I drove an hour away so I can buy myself (and Dave!) a couple of Vietnamese sandwiches. The cravings were so strong, I didn’t know what else to do!

Anyway, at least the taste buds are working properly again. That was the most devastating part of the first part of the first trimester: when everything tasted absolutely plastic. It was not fun at all, given the nausea that went along with it.

I’m so excited though, to see a belly growing when I look down. Everyday it gets just a tad bigger, and everyday I’m just a tad more excited (as if you can’t tell, eh?). We even have a whole bunch of baby stuff from the family already. Most of our Christmas gifts were for Baby Bean. :) So well loved, and not even 12 weeks old yet. This baby is a love child, I swear.

Another Year, Another Way to Love

December 27th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in encompassed

Ah another day, another dollar. Actually, I get today off, but I find that phrase funny, so I decided to use it. Hehe. I have many ideas about projects at this point. Of course, the way it works with me is that my ideas always outweighs my commitment and time availability, so I don’t know how any of these ideas would come to fruition. Some do, but so many don’t simply because I don’t have the time to do it all.

Christmas has come and gone. It’s such a lovely time of the year. I already started taking the tree down last night — the ornaments and whatnot, at least. Dave will be putting the actual tree into its box tonight. It makes me remember and reminisce back to the days when Dave and I privately celebrated our Christmases, with just one or two gifts to each other because we couldn’t afford much. He almost always got me at least one piece of fine lingerie as one of the gifts. Heh. Then he eventually learned that I like tank tops and flannel pajama pants, so the lingerie stopped coming. Poor guy. Heh. Over the years, I can’t believe where we’ve gone and who we’ve become to each other. Our love is so strong and steady, it amazes me. He’s been so good to me since the pregnancy (and before then, but you know, he pays extra attention now). He’s so excited about Baby Bean being born. It warms my heart that he’s going to be a Daddy. I’m just so excited about all that. :)

Remembering Space

December 26th, 2007 | No Comments | Posted in being

I think it’s about time to update all of my insurance back in the states, from my car insurance to my term life insurance. I don’t know much about those things, but I was just reminded from one of my letters that I have to keep on top of those things. Bah.

Isn’t it funny (or maybe not so funny, after all) how our lives are filled with so many mundane issues that in the grand scheme of things don’t really mean much at all? I miss going to yoga - I miss having that plot of space and time every week to remember where I come from and who I am. Somehow I’m not as disciplined at home to enjoy the quietness of my own soul and coax my well-being. I need a dedicated space and time to do all of that, for whatever reason.

I’m going to be signing up for prenatal yoga classes in mid-January. That will do me a lot of good, I bet. I can’t wait to do these exercises with Baby Bean when s/he is born. I think the bonding between mother and child is so important, and I hear mother-child yoga is so significant in all of that. It’s definitely something I want to incorporate in our everyday lives after Bean is born.