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November 20th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being, gratitude

Today (like most Thursdays), I had a relatively long work day. I’m trying to limit my work days to just a few a week so that I don’t have to leave the house everyday. I rather stay at home with the Lily Bean, but we need the money, so what can I do, right? It’s good work and I enjoy being a therapist. I just enjoy being a mommy much more. Heh.

However, having said that, it really thrills me that I love what I do for a living. It makes leaving our little baby a little easier on the heart, knowing that at least I’m doing something I love. We had a staff meeting today and it was really nice to get back into the groove of things — talking about psychology, counseling, how to help people, how to diagnose, the insides and outsides of what’s going on with our clients and how to help and serve them better. It’s just so… elating. It’s so good to be part of a movement for change and positivity. It’s so good to be part of the help, part of the solution. I love it. This is what I thrive on.

Walking the Adult Life

November 7th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being

There are a few things left to do on my to-do list. At least this list is getting shorter and shorter, with “being a Canadian resident” on the top of that list just crossed off. Woo!! Now, I have to start figuring out a way to save some money so that I can set it aside with Dave for Lily Bean’s education and future. It’s good to have a nest egg somewhere for a rainy day, as well as a nest egg for Lily Bean’s education when she gets older. I’m also looking at term life insurance quotes to determine which ones are the best for us to have. It’s hard. This adult stuff is a bit crazy, isn’t it? Sometimes I can’t wrap my head around all this stuff, but it is good to know in the end.

Odds and Ends

November 2nd, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being

I think I need more sleep. This little baby of ours sure is squeaky even when she’s sleeping during her morning naps. It wakes me up and I often have to go check in on her about 3242343 times during her nap, so that doesn’t enable me to get into a deep sleep while she’s napping. Oi. Last night putting her down for her big sleep was a little rough. Hopefully tonight won’t be so bad.

I’ve been trying to watch less television throughout the day. Many good reasons for it, but mainly because LB is already addicted to watching the screen with the pretty colors. She gets so attentive when the tv is on. Yikes. She’s interested in anything, really. Even body building shows where men take Trenadrol and stuff like that. What a silly little girl. So whenever the tv IS on, we try to keep it at Treehouse for Kids. Makes my brain go a little numb, but at least it’s kid-based and educational.

Week Flies By

October 16th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being

This week has flown by rather quickly. Quicker than I thought it did. We spent the majority of Monday going ga-ga over the latest addition to our extended family network: Baby Peanut, Lily Bean’s newest cousin. Tuesday I had to go to work for a few hours in the evening. That went well - it was my first client appointment since maternity leave ended. Wednesday was a free day, so that was nice, and today, Thursday, is also another semi-free day. I say “semi” because I plan to spend today doing some laundry and cleaning the house a little bit. Our dryer broke yesterday, so I’m already behind on laundry. I swear, I should get paid for every load of laundry I do now. I bet I’d make a killing.

Tomorrow, Friday, I have a doctor’s appointment very early in the morning, at 8:15a. It’s for my thyroid issue, so hopefully that goes well. As far as my health is concerned, for the most part I feel fine. Sometimes I notice myself getting really dizzy, like I haven’t eaten in years or something, even though I may just have finished a meal. My metabolism seems to be working overtime. Dave is helping me everyday by making me lots of yummy foods full of protein. Yesterday I was fortunate enough to be graced with an egg and cheese sandwich and his homemade Orange Davius. YUM!!

Lily Bean is just waking up now. Have a good day!

Energy Source

October 13th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being, reflection

Last night was a trying night for all of us. It was Thanksgiving and we had our dinner at someone else’s home who we weren’t entirely comfortable in yet. I suppose Dave and I both projected some huge anxiety vibes, because Lily Bean felt it somewhere and she ended up hollering at the top of her lungs for several hours — pretty much the whole time we were there. It was the strangest thing, as we’ve never heard her cry like that before. She is usually so easily consolable. This time, there were hard tears that ran down her little face, and it was like someone was pinching her or something. She wouldn’t let Daddy hold her at all, and even when Mommy held her, it took a while for her to be consoled. It broke our hearts to hear our baby girl cry like that. It was absolutely heart-wrenching.

It was a good lesson for the both of us… I believe that we put out energy vibes to those around us, and it is no different with babies and animals. They sense when something is wrong and they often respond accordingly. As adults, we don’t recognize it until it’s too late — until we’re going through our days grumpy and annoyed without knowing why, until we’ve yelled and hollered at random people without realizing we’re responding to someone else’s anger. Lily Bean picked up on our anxiety right away and I think it made her anxious as well. I remember the times when I consoled her successfully last night. I was purposefully holding her and visualizing positive, calm energy into her while I was holding her. I was purposefully breathing slow, calm breaths, and it seemed to calm her down faster than when I was freaking out and trying to shush her.

When we got home, it was like an instant light switch. We all relaxed because we were home, comfortable, and calm again. Lily Bean instantly relaxed as well. Dave held her and she was happy happy happy. I think she picked up on that he was finally relaxed. She didn’t scream once. Not even when she was horribly tired. She just drifted off to sleep. I guess she tired herself out.

I have to remember to consciously be a positive source of energy for my baby girl. It is a good thing to learn to be.

The Middle Way

October 8th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being

So I’ve been having way too much fun dressing our little girl up. It’s amazing how being a mom of a baby girl changes me. I wasn’t ever really too much into “pink” and dressing up babies like they’re dolls. I tend to gravitate toward anything that’s a little more earthy and gender-neutral. However, dude, ever since I’ve had her, I want to dress her up in cute little outfits and all. Most of her clothes are gender-neutral, but some of them are not. I have dresses for her, and cute little peasant blouses and little girl tights. I gotta say, they’re darn cute.

I think I’ve really relaxed myself over the years. I think I took myself and politics way too seriously before. I still do, but it’s not as bad as it was years ago. It’s a lot more relaxed, or at least it feels more relaxed to me. You may not agree, but I feel it. It’s easier living this way when you take yourself not so seriously and yet still have firm values. It’s good. The middle way is the place to be.

Spending Time with Her

October 8th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being, connections

While mentally trying to prepare myself for going back to work, I am forced to really scrutinize my new priorities in life. I still get excited about working, as what I do is my passion in life, but now I realize that it is “just” (for lack of a more appropriate word) a career. Now, my passion in life is truly my little baby girl. I want to spend every waking moment with her. If not WITH her, than in the same room as she is in. I am excited about having cases again and working with needy families again, but I’m totally not at all excited about having to leave the house without Lily Bean with me. I’m not excited about missing laughs and giggles and squeaks and grunts. I’m not excited about missing tummy times.

If only there was a way to make money just by sitting on my ass all day and playing with my daughter, I’d be so on top of it! Even spending time with her looking at Black Friday ads is more fun than not being with her!