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Growing Up Again

May 13th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being

Things are starting to fall together for us at home, especially with finances. I’ve never been one to worry about money, and I’m not liking that now I have to. Guh. But I suppose it’s practical and realistic. It’s kind of sucky growing up, when you have to worry about home insurance and disability insurance (just in case). It gives me a headache when I think about where our money goes (insurance is a huge scam… I can’t believe it’s “required” in so many different areas). Oh well, what can ya do.

Time For Myself

April 23rd, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being, visualization

I haven’t shown gratitude or insight on this blog in a while, I feel. Lately, I feel like I’ve been floating because things seem to come naturally to me in life. I don’t have to think too much of what I have to do everyday. It’s routine. Mostly it concerns house stuff, as we’re still more or less settling into our new home. I’m trying to find some time for “me,” but it has been difficult because every waking extra time I have has been spent with Lily because I miss her when I’m not with her. So I try to make it up when she and I are awake together. But more and more, I am noticing that I need some essential “me” time as well. I’m not sure what this would consist of, but I think it should have something to do with exercise and most likely yoga. I’ve neglected my yoga routine ever since we’ve moved here. The busy-ness of life gets in the way, and before you know it, months have passed and your body hasn’t felt healthy in a while. I feel like sometimes, I stretch myself so much into my community and my family, there is not enough left of me for myself. And my mind and body ache to be given the same amount of attention that I give everyone else.

I’ve been trying to find some time to read more. Often, when I am not busy (like after Lily’s bedtime), I find myself aimlessly surfing the internet, mind-numbing my brain out for a bit because I’m so darn tired. Or, I find myself watching tv until I pass out on the couch from the pure exhaustion of my day catching up to me. Reading seems to be difficult, though still greatly enjoyable. I sneak it in more often than not on my lunch breaks during the week — going out by myself to eat in a restaurant just so I can have that half hour to hour of reading. Just on my own. I don’t miss anyone else’s company but myself. So, I try to find less time to work work work and think about silly things (like for example, the way our society is so targeted on best weight loss pills), and to find more time for myself.

Newness of Motherhood

February 14th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being, gratitude, received

The other day, I was having such a blast while shopping with Lily (she loooves squeaking in her squeaky shoes down the aisle) that I forgot the cashier person couldn’t catch one of the products from the barcode scanner while we were checking out. I love taking my Lily out with me, even on small errands. It’s awesome because she makes everyday life so livable, so wonderful. Just having her near makes my whole day better, my whole minute better. It’s kind of funny because when Dave and I take her out, we often fight over who gets to carry her or hold her hand. Sometimes she has choices (”MOMMY HAND!!” or “DADDY HAND!!”), but most of the time, she lets whoever happens to have her take her. I just love being near her. This “newness” feeling of being a mother hasn’t rubbed off yet. I wonder if it ever will? I hope it never does.

To Settle In

February 14th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being

We went window shopping for furniture this weekend, and we can’t help but realize how incredibly fast this is coming on. The move to our new house is less than two weeks away. Last we checked, it seemed to have been hovering at “a month away” and now we’re under the 2-week mark. Wow. After we are all settled in, we’re thinking about possibly getting a ps3 or maybe even something else if Dave feelings like trying out some new gaming consoles. Though, to tell you the truth, they each go obsolete so quickly after they are bought, and we hardly play as many games as we probably should, given that we have all these gaming consoles. Oh well. We’ll see. Regardless, I am looking forward to being settled in, and having life back to normal, in a new home.

Simplifying Consoles

February 11th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being

We’re trying to de-clutter our home, and simplify our life in preparation for our move into our new home. We have several game consoles, and we may be getting rid of some (in favor of getting new, updated ones, perhaps). One of those is the xbox 360, which we’ve had for a while but don’t use. Dave was thinking of wanting a PS3, but maybe we won’t use that either, since we have a PS2 that we’ve hardly touched. We recently got the Wii, and we’ve been using that more often than not, but still not as often as we probably should (my yoga routine is going by the wayside!).

Oh well, we’ll see how we do when we’re moved into the new place.

Only 60 Seconds

January 17th, 2010 | No Comments | Posted in being

It is Sunday, and my back hurts. My mind is numb from the stressful situation we’ve been under, and my body is tired from trying to hold up my mind. I hope this is good stress, if there is even such a thing that exists. I’m overwhelmed by what life has to offer at this stage in our lives, and I don’t know how exactly to deal with it. Some days I feel like I’m going to go crazy, while other days I feel more stable than I’ve ever felt before. I think, though, that this is what people have been talking about — when you are on the brink of turning 30, suddenly it feels like adolescence again. I’m 29 now, and it is kind of scary that this age has snuck up so quickly upon me. I look at my life and I think, “Wow, I can’t believe I have so much…” Yet at the same time, I look at my life and I also feel like there is still so much more to do, and 30 is coming just way too fast.

What happened to my 20s? Where the heck was I and what was I doing? I was busy falling in love with a man I would marry. I was busy preparing myself to be a mother. I was busy creating a positive dent in this world we inhabit. And yet, all that sometimes feels like I still have so much more to do, so much more to give. Life is more than just choosing the right hair supplements, or the perfect interview clothes. Sometimes we get lost in all that silly mumble jumble, and we forget that each minute we live, it is another minute gone by, and we are simply just a minute closer to our death. We must choose to live each minute wisely, because they all go by so fast.

After all, it’s only 60 seconds, when you think about it.

Maintenance

November 28th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being

Sometimes I feel like I have so many websites, I can hardly keep up with all of them. I have 4 websites. Can you believe it? Mindmirror was my first and it will forever be my baby and brainchild. Lily Bean’s website will also be one that will stay forever, I imagine, since it’s hers and maybe one day she will want to do something with it when she’s all grown up and stuff. Having four websites can be difficult to maintain, especially when new softwares keep coming out, and old ones keep needing updates. Sometimes I need to figure out the conversion rate optimization for all the websites, so that they run on maximum force. And stuff.

Okay I think I need to go eat. I’m losing my mind and I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. Heh.