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A Family

December 12th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in connections, gratitude

I’ve always valued the concept of family, especially after making my own with Dave. However, I never truly realized or understood the incredible meaning of family until we added Lily Bean into ours. It’s amazing how much love a child can bring into a home. I thought my capacity for love was pretty high, but it was nothing compared to the way I feel about her. I am so proud to be her mommy. Our little baby girl, our Lily, our Baby Bean.

Making a family with him feels complete. It is that much more special because it is with *him*… my knight in shining armor, my hero, my confidante, my best friend. And, he’s great in bed too. A bonus, woo!

How Time Grows

November 22nd, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in connections

Well, the weekend is here, and the husband and I are both sick. However, Lily Bean is still holding on strong and she hasn’t caught out cold. It’s a miracle, as we’ve both been sick since Monday. Knock on wood, but I think we have a super baby on our hands. Heh.

Tomorrow we have an awesome birthday party for our niece, Chelsea. She is turning 9 years old. Wow. I remember when I first met her and she was just a little itty bitty 2-year-old. She just stared and stared and stared at me, like I was the strangest thing since sliced cheese. And from there, we were practically inseparable. My little golden girl, she is. I’ve always held a special place for her in my heart. We see her for a little bit about once a week, when Nana brings her to visit us. She’s very interested in Lily Bean, which I like to see. Lily Bean will see her cousin Chelsea as this “cool big teenager” in just a few years. It’s so strange to think of that, especially when I can still see Chelsea in my mind’s eye as this chubby little baby. How odd.

It will be good to see the family again.

Happy Dreams

October 14th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in connections

Last night, I had a really neat dream (that I can remember of it, anyway). It was Christmas time, and I saw a lot of my old friends from childhood. We were gathered together to enjoy a neat holiday festival with ice skating and all that. I dreamt that one of my childhood friends, who I haven’t seen in a long time, was going to be meeting a boy and that made her so happy. I dreamt that my friends were happy. The scenery looked like something out of an English movie set — all pretty and old and archaic. It was snowing and everyone was joyous and happy.

It made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I like dreams like that. I hope that means that I’m very happy right now in my life. Dreams reflect what’s going on in our psyche. Sometimes I dream about people I don’t consciously think about during my waking hours. It’s odd, but I haven’t thought about these childhood friends in a very long time. It’s nice to see them again, even if only in my dreams.

Spending Time with Her

October 8th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being, connections

While mentally trying to prepare myself for going back to work, I am forced to really scrutinize my new priorities in life. I still get excited about working, as what I do is my passion in life, but now I realize that it is “just” (for lack of a more appropriate word) a career. Now, my passion in life is truly my little baby girl. I want to spend every waking moment with her. If not WITH her, than in the same room as she is in. I am excited about having cases again and working with needy families again, but I’m totally not at all excited about having to leave the house without Lily Bean with me. I’m not excited about missing laughs and giggles and squeaks and grunts. I’m not excited about missing tummy times.

If only there was a way to make money just by sitting on my ass all day and playing with my daughter, I’d be so on top of it! Even spending time with her looking at Black Friday ads is more fun than not being with her!

The Other Half of Team

September 24th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in connections

Last night, when Dave finally joined me in bed, we had a long cuddle session, where the only words that came out of our mouths were “I love you.” I thought that there wasn’t a way to love this man more than I already had before we had Lily Bean, but again I was proven wrong. It is something else to love the father of your child… to know that there is something big that we created together — a life, a beautiful soul, a lovely person. I am grateful that I was already in love with him before we had a baby because the baby only heightens my sense of love for him afterwards. We still do things together, like we have always done, and we are still partners in crime, like we have always been. Except now, there is one more thing that our world revolves around, together: the baby. Knowing that I can depend on him to be on the same page as me when it comes to parenting, knowing that we can talk about anything and everything when it comes to her, knowing that he has the same dedication as I do when it comes to upbringing our child, it gives me comfort and I am easily rest assured that I am not alone in loving this child this much. She also has her daddy.

In our spare time, Dave and I surf the internet. When the baby is sleeping, after oohing and ahhing over how beautiful she is even in her sleep, we discuss politics and technological news and wishlists (such as wanting a micro sd, for example). But then when the baby wakes up, the attention immediately goes to the baby. I’m glad, though, that we are still finding time for ourselves as husband and wife. Even if it is in everyday simple tasks like surfing the internet together.

Loving All Types

September 15th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in connections, gratitude, received

These days, while spending all of my time with family, it has been brought to my immediate realization over and over again that family is so very important. I spend all of my time with Dave and Lily Bean, with intermittent time spent with other extended relatives like my mother-in-law and my siblings-in-law from time to time. Family sticks with you. Family, when you grow up, is who you choose to be around you all the time. I have all different types of family members with all types of personality traits, and I can’t be more grateful the many rainbow of personalities surrounding me these days. For instance, I have a cousin-in-law who drives a nifty Harley (and seems to always be looking for Harley parts). He has tattoos all over his body and a beard that comes down to his chest. He looks like one of those awesome bike dudes you see hanging around in bars. Exactly like that, actually. Yet, he’s the most gentle soul anyone can ever know. Isn’t it neat?

Another example - I have a brother-in-law who in his spare time travels the world. He saves every morsel of income he makes to go to Thailand, Japan, Australia, England, and now he’s planning on possibly Africa and New Zealand. I’ve always wanted to travel and told myself that “one day” it would be easier and we’d be able to do it as a family, yet there’s my BIL, able to do just that almost every year. I admire his audacity to “just do it,” so to speak.

So many different personalities, all so beautiful. The more people I surround myself with, the more I realize that I have the capacity and ability to love all types of people, and not just people who are like me. I like that.

Giving Thanks

June 15th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in connections, gratitude

This month we have much to give thanks to. I am so blessed at how many people are excited for us to become parents so soon. It’s always a good thing when you tell someone that you’re pregnant, and their face lights up. It’s a good affirmation of your abilities and your capability when they believe you can be really great parents, when they believe you have the potential to love another little being so intensely. I have a lot of people to give thanks to this month because they are giving such positive, loving, excited energy towards our little Baby Bean. The other day I bought a pack of thank you cards so that I can out-use all of my bic pens to say thanks to everyone who’s thought of us, bought us (or Baby Bean) something, or just plain showed us their excitement and their support. I’m going to be running out of cards pretty soon, but I think it’s important to let people know how much you appreciate they care. It makes them stick around more often.

This month (and I know it will just continue to grow), I feel incredibly loved and overwhelmed with support.