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Mind Mirror » 2008» February
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Little Tidbits of Happiness

February 21st, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in gratitude

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There are various little tidbits throughout my day that really get me going. One includes having lunch with my Jenbug (though we haven’t been very successful at that this week). I need my Jenbug time, or I go a little nuts. It’s my time to wind down.

Another event during the day that really makes me happy is when Dave calls me to say hi or that he loves me. These random phone calls put a nice little break right in the middle of my frantic ones from work — from social workers, lawyers, probation officers, clients, etc. It’s really lets me stop and smile and just appreciate that I have this marvelous man in my life. No one loves me like he does, and no one loves him like I do.

These days, there is also something else: Baby Bean’s kicks. Sometimes it comes during a court hearing, when I’m giving testimony (like yesterday!). Other times it comes when I’m in my car driving. Either way, it makes me pause in my mental tracks, and allow me to remember that there is bigger fish I am frying. That at the end of the day, I am a Mommy and I have a Bean. :)

Sales Training

February 21st, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in encompassed

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While I’ve never really gone through a Sales Training course officially, I seem to know quite a bit of it. I think it is through reading and other people’s experiences. I have a few friends in sales, and I used to work for bosses who are in sales during college. I was their office assistant, so I got to see a lot of what they do, and hear a lot about their experiences. Sales is a funny business — in order to be really successful, you have to actually believe in what you’re selling. And if you don’t, you have to be really good at pretending you do. There are a lot of different types of salespeople out there: most notably and famously the car salesman, but less common are the other salespeople such as college admissions counselors and army recruiters. Everyone is selling something. Heck, sometimes I even feel like I’m a saleswoman for good mental health. I talk the spiel, I walk the talk, and I promote it. I’m selling it, except my product is essentially free. If you’re thinking of becoming a salesperson of any kind, there are various tricks of the trade that are always good to know and have under your wing. The UK’s AS-SA “Advance” program offers its clients and customers the most effective sort of sales training. Go for it, if you are so inclined.

The Kicking Bean

February 21st, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in visualization

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My sister wrote in my facebook yesterday that the “whole world” is waiting for Friday. Heh. If you don’t know already, I’ll letcha in on why. We’re finding out the sex of Baby Bean on Friday. It’s pretty darn awesome, if you ask me! I am very excited about this, and so is “Daddy” Dave. Hehe. I can’t wait to find out what Baby Bean is. I’m taking the whole day on Friday off to do paperwork and then take Dave into B’ham for our ultrasound. Friday is a good day. I hope Bean doesn’t hide and show us a bum instead of the other side. ;P The little stinker has been kicking me a lot. I’m almost 20 weeks now, and although the kicks are not as strong enough to wake me up or make me stop in my tracks, I do feel them as I go through my day. I can’t get over HOW AWESOME this really is. DUDE!! There’s a LIVING BEING growing INSIDE me! In my uterus!

I think I have the cutest belly bump in the world. Okay so I’m biased, but Bean is the cutest little fetus on Earth. Heh. Plus, I’ve developed this strangely keen sense that I have called PregRay: it roughly translates into the ability to zone in on pregnant women all around me. Everywhere I go, I feel a magnet towards them. Like we’re in some sort of secret club that women everywhere in the world go in and out of. PregRay vision is very interesting. It is accompanied with “How far along are you?!” instead of “Hi, what’s your name?” Quite neat.

Bean, show us whatcha got, Baby. Mommy loves you!!

IT Certification

February 18th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in encompassed

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For years, ever since I was a dinky teenager, I’ve had friends who keep mentioning that they want Microsoft Certification to expand their business and computer skills. Some of them have actually gone off and gotten these certifications and moved on to bigger and better things, now working for Microsoft and other software/hardware companies in Southern California. One of my buddies went through a program at QuickCert.com, where he eventually gained his certification to program and understand software. He’s a pretty awesome possum high tech IT dude now. If you’re looking for that kind of thing, it’s highly suggested that you go through them as well. It’s been a great success for my friends who have.

The Physical Touch

February 18th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in received

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This is an example of how wonderful asking for something can be. Two entries ago, I asked for more pronounced movements of Baby Bean. Throughout this whole last half hour, Bean has been kicking the left side of my tummy. 19 weeks and 2 days, and now Bean has finally begun to really show his/her presence to Mommy. The kicks are awesome, but they stop when Daddy (aka Dave hehe) comes and checks them out. I think Bean gets performance anxiety or something. The kicks are starting to come again now, and they’re awesome. Absolutely awesome.

Welcome to the world of physical touch, Bean.

The Missing Wii

February 18th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in being

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Grr. So both Dave and I were looking forward to having a few games on the Wii, but we weren’t able to find it anywhere in stores. O-M-G, what the heck is the issue here? I can’t believe Nintendo is making the demand higher than the supply. We’ve tried everywhere, from Best Buy (both in Canada and the U.S.) to FutureShop to EBGames to even Walmart. No one still carries the Wii. They’re constantly out of stock. It’s absolutely ridiculous. And every time a shipment comes in, they only have 3 or 4, and they get sold out within 20 minutes. We don’t stand a chance! It’s so frustrating.

We were soo looking forward to playing Mario Brothers or whatever, or even tennis and bowling. Candice got us hooked on the Wii and now we can’t even get it. The back of our tv system there looks like HDMI switches just took over, but we’re ready for one more console, especiall Nintendo since I miss all the fun old games like Donkey Kong and Mario Brothers. Ugh. This is so frustrating. Any ideas where we can get the Wii?

The Skinny

February 18th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in reflection

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I think America’s view of weight is so interesting. Obesity continues to be a problem, though it doesn’t quite stop there. The issue with body image override the problem of obesity. For example, when you’re too thin, you get made fun of and called names. When you’re too fat, you get made fun of and called names. When you’re well in the normal range of weight, you get made fun of and called names. I see double standards everywhere. I’ve been called a range of names for my weight, from “you lucky skinny bitch” to “you poor Auschwitz prisoner wannabe.” Other kinder, gentler forms of name calling have been “bamboo” and “toothpick,” if you can hardly call them “gentle” at all.

The double standard that exists in my life is how so many people look at Kate Moss and think she’s absolutely gorgeous, and then the same people look at me and think I’m starving myself and I’m unhealthy. Yet, to tell you the truth, both Kate Moss’s and my body height-weight ratio are almost identical to each other. How can she be gorgeous and me be unhealthy? Or are the two words one and the same?

Another double standard that I will forever find amusing (since I’ve stopped taking other people’s opinions about how I look and feel into consideration to how I see myself a looong time ago: it creates more sanity in my life this time) is that people only subtly, ever so sneakily and cruelly, make fun of “fat” people. They hardly come to their face and say, “MY GOD you are SO FUCKING FAT! What the hell are you doing to yourself?! Why don’t you either get some surgery or take weight loss pills or something, fatso?!” Fat people have to suffer under the silent scrutiny of eyes following them, disgusted expressions on people’s faces. On the other hand, people feel like they have free reign on “skinny” people. As if we are more deserving of the thin jokes, openly and overtly. No one holds back to tell me how thin I am, how small I am. They figure I work to look this way, so they go ahead and make fun of me right to my face. There is no shame in making fun of skinny people.

The God awful truth is, ladies and gentlemen, being overweight or underweight is often a health hazard. I am not thin because I “work” at it (though I do take regular exercise and eat healthy). I am thin and have always, always been thin because I can’t help it. Yes, I can’t help it. In fact, when I was younger, I even tried to take weight gaining pills. If I skip a meal, I end up losing a pound. If I eat more than my average share of servings, nothing happens. I have the opposite extreme problem, but yes, it is still a problem. My metabolism is significantly higher than everyone else’s. I eat and eat and eat and I get full very quickly, and then within another two hours I am hungry again, and eat and eat again. I hardly ever finish one serving in one sitting, but I eat more than the average person per day. I grow faint if I even skip half a meal. I see yellow spots if I don’t eat. By no means am I anorexic or bulimic. I can’t even afford to be.

Be careful what you say about other people’s weights. Be careful what you say TO them, too. Words can hurt, and if you’re ignorant, they sometimes even sting that much more.

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